Adam Air Captain Speaking:
"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen.
This is your captain speaking,
welcoming both seated and standing
passengers on board of Adam Air!
We apologize for the four-days delay
in taking off, it was due to bad
weather and some overtime I had to put
in at the bakery.
This is flight 717 to Yogyakarta.
Landing there is not guaranteed, but
we will end up somewhere in Central Java.
And, if luck is in our favor, we may
even be landing on your village!
Adam Air has an excellent safety-record.
In fact, our safety standards are so
high, that even terrorists are afraid
to fly with us!
It is with pleasure I announce that,
starting this year, over 30% of our
passengers have reached their destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you,
on passenger request, we can arrange
to turn them off!
For our not-so-religious passengers,
we are the only airline who can help
you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's
in-flight movie will not be shown as
we forgot to record it from the television.
However, for our movie buffs, we will
be flying right next to Garuda Indonesia Airways,
where their movie will be visible from
the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane.
Any smoke you see in the cabin is only
the early warning system
on the engines telling us to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks,
we try to fly as close as possible for the best view.
If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know.
Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes
flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an
upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt.
For those of you who can't find a seat-
belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat.
And, for those of you who can't find a
seat, do not hesitate to get in touch
with a stewardess who will explain how
to fasten yourself to your suitcase.
Enjoy Adam Air!!"